book club

this is the book that i left at my parent's house without a bookmark. when i got it back a couple of weeks later i struggled to find my place.  and since i didn't learn my lesson the first time, i continued to throw it in my purse without a bookmark and must have re-read the same pages at least 20 times... in any case... miriam toews is one of my favourite canadian authors.  you may know  a complicated kindness or more recently the flying troutmans.  i think this is the fourth of her books that i've read and despite focusing on a heavier subject, it still made me laugh out loud.  she has a real honesty to her humour that i appreciate.  swing low: a life is a memoir of her father that she wrote through his point of view.. several years after he took his own life.  miriam provides insight into her father that i'm sure he would be proud of.  it wasn't sad, it was inspired. 


slapstick came from santa.  i wonder how santa knows i like kurt vonnegut?  the best word i could use to describe this book is... wacky.  it was a science fiction, futuristic and somewhat post apocalyptic tale.  the storyteller is the former president of the united states who now lives in the empire state building with his granddaughter.  he goes through his life, and explains in detail his bizarre relationship with his twin sister.  when separated, they are just average (or below average people), but when they put their heads together they become insanely intellectual.  he describes the physical closeness as a crucial part to their "genius" and it kinda weirded me out.  but overall i enjoyed it.  the forward was the best part because i liked reading about vonnegut himself, but the fiction was disturbing, humourous and entertaining.

i wasn't able to recover my copy of douglas coupland's hey nostradamus!  but i did find it at bmv for $2.99.  what a steal!  anyway it took me a while to find my place, but once i did i quickly got back into coupland's stylistic flow.  i love reading his books so far.  there is something about the way he writes that really appeals to my brain.  this book was based around a high school shooting. there was an account of the shooting through the eyes of a deceased victim (from... heaven?).  prior to the incident she had eloped with her highschool sweetheart.  they got fake ids and flew from vancouver to las vegas at the age of 17 without anyone knowing. each chapter is entitled after a different character connected in some way to the shooting. and includes the subsequent life events of the husband who survived while his young bride died in his arms.  i'm not going into too much detail here.  it was interesting, and funny, so read it. 

wake up

john legend and the roots - wake up.  is a good album...  so i bought it.  it's fairly new, i think it came out in fall 2010...  that still counts as new, right?  the songs are (covers?) or based on.... 60s -70s soul tunes.  i just learned recently that the tracks are somewhat politically minded and were inspired by the 2008 presidential election in the states.  collaborations can be good.  collaborations between several talented artists are awesome, and i think this qualifies.

what's cooking?

not this cat. 
this is oscar.  to quote his father pete, 'a new shade of brown has been discovered, oscar brown.'  oscar has a brother who is equally as handsome.  his name is sammy miami.  'he likes his cars the same as his women.  fast.'

isn't he precious? so bashful, but he appears to enjoy the spotlight.  don't worry, no cats were harmed and the stove was cleaned after his time to shine.

anyway after my failed attempt at cuddling (more like man-handling) the cats, and a failed game of euchre, 3 friends and i took turns at drawing in my sketchbook.  this game carried over to the emmet ray where a dj was spinning older vinyl.  and the crowd was .... interesting.  (by that i mean really weird)... but i hardly noticed the people around me because i was wrapped up in these crazy drawings.  if i get a chance i will post them sometime.  i'd also like to note that my dreams of learning web design were crushed last night, more like stomped on, but you get the idea.

here is me trying (and failing) to take an artistic picture at the emmet ray.  at least you kind of get a feel for the room and there is some bookshelf that i really like in the background.

wiretap

wiretap is a radio show on cbc featuring one of my idols, jonathan goldstein.  you can listen to it on saturdays at 1:30pm or thursdays at 11:30pm.  if you're anything like me and have no regularity in your life, you can get just get the podcasts.

i don't think the videos really do it justice.  but it will at least give you a taste if you've never heard of him.  you have to understand, when i hear wiretap on the radio it feels like i've won the lottery of timing.  this show 9 times out of 10 has me in stitches, and the other time, it gets me thinking.  the podcasts are convenient but i prefer the magic of catching him at his regular air time.

i'm actually such a huge jonathan goldstein fan that i bought and read his books, lenny bruce is dead  & ladies and gentleman, the bible!  i doubt any other author (or person) could trick me into reading bible stories.

this post is mainly about wiretap, but i would also like to profess my love for podcasts in general.  spoiled for choice, i stick mainly to the things i know (ie. cbc shows and ricky gervais).  if you could recommend any that you listen to, please let me know.  right now i'm listening to the january 15th episode of quirks and quarks which is talking about music releasing dopamine in the brain.

things not to do

here is a list of things not to do... (list may or may not be based on true events)

• neglect to use a bookmark (if you are against dog-earing pages)
• forget your book somewhere you may never see it again*
• order something from threadless before christmas**
• wear brand new suede heels on a slushy and salted sidewalk (and expect them not to get ruined)
• lend your metropass to someone***
• expect there to be no ttc delays when you have to be somewhere
• eat or drink (anything) while wearing your favourite clothing
• let me choose which lineup to get in
• lose your brand new glasses
• forget to return dvd rentals on time
• forget to buy toilet paper when you're on the last roll
• wait three weeks to do your laundry****
• stare directly at the sun....



photo taken on the gabriola ferry in november 2010

* because if you get it back you'll have no idea what page you're on as a result of previously stated negligence
** when you alert threadless that your items haven't arrived at all nevermind in time for christmas, they will kindly reply that the items you wanted are now out of stock, joy.
*** and realize they didn't return it when you're waiting in line for the streetcar without any change
**** and expect any stains will come out

please feel free to add to this list at anytime...

hermann hesse, and a book about gull

     

When you like someone, you like them in spite of their faults. When you love someone, you love them with their faults.
------------------------------------------------------
Oh, love isn't there to make us happy. I believe it exists to show us how much we can endure.
------------------------------------------------------Knowledge can be communicated, but not wisdom. One can find it, live it, be fortified by it, do wonders through it, but one cannot communicate and teach it.

Hermann Hesse 


thanks hermann. i haven't read any of your books yet. i picked up siddhartha for fifty cents at a thrift store but it has been in my pile of books to read for several years now. reading your quotes has inspired me to want to read your novels.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
i don't have any excuse for not reading it (siddhartha) other than it's in a box in jesse's shed in bc.. i seem to be getting through books rather quickly these days. another book i finished recently is jonathan livingston seagull by richard bach. it includes many black and white photos of seagulls in various states of flight or rest. and a story about one special gull and his journey, what he learns and what he teaches. i learned that even though seagulls are rather annoying, they are (in some cases), wise and insightful.  i don't know.  i couldn't really get into it.  i think i understood it but i wasn't really buying it.

 

i scanned this picture from the book because i like it



snowy weather

the snowy weather as of late reminds me of my time at mount washington alpine resort...  actually one memory in particular comes to mind.  one day i was exiting the staff bus, head down, grumpily trudging my way through the snow. out of the blue the bus driver asked me if i wanted a lift... at first i didn't know what he meant.. and when i realized i felt a little uneasy.  throwing caution to the wind, i hopped on the front of his skis.  he glided us down to the front doors of the lodge with ease.  it was brief, but it was the feeling of freedom.  i wasn't locked in like i normally would be on skis, i had to put all my trust in the skier himself.  and it felt good to let go.  that memory has stuck with me.   other memories include: losing my parked car in a five foot snowfall, driving under and around fallen trees, an incident with a power line that we will not speak of, and being sideswiped by a snowboard instructor... good times.

are you aware?

today was one of those days where the world was against me.  nothing in particular except everything in general.  luckily i stumbled upon this little gem...

i'm going to share this one too because i like how you can see that it's snowing.




i noticed it from across the street and stopped dead in my tracks.  i think i was drawn to it because somehow it looks like a vintage ad.  imagine being absentmindedly bombarded with that question... or maybe you were when you saw the picture?  one of the things i love about toronto is the diversity of the people.  culturally, politically, artistically, everyone brings something unique to the city. 

today after work i was descending the steps at st. andrew station. a man came flying from behind me and actually kicked me (accidentally) as he flung himself onto the train (while the doors were closing).  it made a loud noise and several people turned to see what it was.  i was embarrassed but i laughed it off, besides i'm made out of titanium.  he got on the train, and i stayed behind without serious injury.  i wonder what made him rush to the train so violently?  doesn't he know they come every 1 - 2 minutes in rush hour?  doesn't he realize that he was endangering himself and others?  i wonder if he is aware of the beauty he brings this place...  i wonder about a lot.

i'm glad tomorrow is tuesday.

pleasant surprise

i just got home from a lovely weekend that started with a movie and late night sushi on bloor with my oldest friend jennifer (of dolce amore cupcakes)...  she's not old, i've just known her since i was 2.  a night and day in burlington with my mom... and a night and day in niagara with the lovely nat & james.  i haven't been home since thursday and when i checked my mail tonight i was ecstatic to find a package from visual inclination, ivan's design business (also on twitter and vimeo) that he started in 1999.  congrats on 12 years and thanks for the package...

the best part was that it was addressed to mindvinyl enterprises

Print Craft from Visual Inclination on Vimeo.


the weather has been painfully cold.  but at least i got some nice pictures out of it... these are from nat and james' house...


this is a picture of an air conditioner i took last summer.  ...

these trees are pretty and they might be friends

crosswords

saturday is a good a day as any to do a crossword.  personally i prefer all of the days.  i like the one in the 24 because it's so easy even i can finish it (on a good day) . . . can you say confidence booster?  there is a lady who stands outside the ttc station in this frigid weather and hands out the free paper.  she is so cheerful, considering.  one day she was coughing and sick and she told me she had to be out in the cold to pay the bills.  they gave her a toque to wear but she she wished they would give her socks.  she said she didn't care what colour, as long as they kept her warm.  it broke my heart a little.  she had a smile on her face the whole time. 

when i was living at home with my parents, saturday morning consisted of mom racing to be first to grab the paper and put on the coffee. she would then commence the crossword.  dad would arrive in the kitchen, eat a massive bowl of cereal (with 5 different kinds of cereal) in preparation for his day at work.  while eating his cereal my dad would fill in some crucial clues in the crossword and correct my mom's mistakes... when mom would get fed up, i would be slowly returning to the land of the living and have my turn.  after work dad would correct both our mistakes and finish the whole damn thing.

i love the 24 because it is shiny and i don't get newsprint on my hands while commuting.  here are some pictures from their condo this morning...

peaceful saturday morning on the lake in burlington..

haters gonna hate

hate all you want - i love the leafs. . . . last night i went to my first toronto maple leafs game in over ten years.  the last game i went to was at the maple leaf gardens with my dad.  we sat front row on the lush cushioned gold coloured chairs.  it was incredible.  i think my mom got the tickets through her old job at labatt.   last night was . . . different . . . but equally exciting.  we sat in section 318 in the very last row. it was perfect.  the people were there to watch the game and have a good time.  and drink beers that were the nearly the size of a small child ... and more expensive than a leafs jersey.

the game got off to a slow start.. and there were some hecklers.   but i'm all for positivity...

someone is excited....

when it started to pick up the fans quickly changed their tune.  the game ended with an exciting 5 - 2 victory for the leafs.  it felt like everyone at the acc was my best friend. you could accidentally walk full speed into someone and as long as you apologized it was like nothing ever happened.  many smiles were exchanged.  and people were genuinely amused with my childlike enthusiasm.

go leafs!

 

john lennon is killing me

  
with insight.  just imagine what he'd be up to if he was still around...
 

There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create.

i had a hard time selecting which one of his quotes to share . . .  there are just so many to choose from.  i recently watched the first two volumes of the beatles anthology (on dvd) and was genuinly captivated by their stories.  i'm just waiting until i have a hangover bad enough to want to stay in bed, eat chips, and watch dvds all day...

the song empty garden was written by bernie taupin and elton john in his memory:

he said she said

                                                          

as you may or may not have noticed (depending on how observant or technically savvy you are)... i would like to know if you prefer iphone or blackberry.  my phone is dying, i'm due for a hardware upgrade and i think it's time to get with the times...  i'm pretty sure i know which one i want but i find people's interest and response intriguing.  so humour me.  (please?)

i've stopped using my earbuds during my commute.  they create a disconnect between myself and reality.  while it's nice to escape from time to time, i've decided to embrace my surroundings (or at least be more aware of them)... unless someone is chewing with their mouth open... i'll drown that out any day. 

in other news, i have a zit attempting to take over my chin. soon it will be the size of a small country in need of it's own governmental system. i believe a war has started and i'm not up for the challenge.  too much information?

yesterday outside of bmv i heard a girl say "i only speak one language but i have a tattoo"... i have spent the last day trying to figure out what the hell that could possibly mean.  i'm still at a loss.

my friend amy posted this picture today (thank you) and it gave me a feeling that i didn't want to let go of.  a feeling of hope.  she gave me permission to post it.  enjoy.

relevant

yesterday i rode the elevator in my building with a police officer.  while this may not sound like an event, it felt like one.  being in a confined space with a loaded gun was a little more than unnerving.  it actually made me sick to my stomach.  i couldn't stop thinking about how exposed it was, like if the officer let his guard down someone could take it right out of it's holster... 

this morning while heading southbound on my way to work there were many officers on the subway.  another incident of confined spaces and weapons in two days...  then i realized they were on the train to attend the procession for sergeant ryan russell . . . the feeling of entrapment turned into condolence.   below is the composition of let it be that played during part of his funeral...i know it's cheesy but i really like it.  it was noted that he would have wanted people to let it be.  i thought this was a good version, it has a gospel sound...wait for it...

from the window of my office i was able to see the entire procession from dundas all the way down university and watch as it turned the corner on wellington.  we gathered around the windows and watched tens of thousands of people come together to mourn his life and show their love and support.  i have seen more officers today than i did over the whole course of the g20 summit back in june.  my boss and i stepped outside.  we were overwhelmed by the silence.  and the somber and grave looks on people's faces.  but what an amazing sight to see so many people peaceful, together . . .   it's not often that you see unity in such large numbers.  i couldn't help but think it would be nice if he knew how many people care about him today. in any event, his family does.

here are some pictures from today:

dollar days at no frills

dollar days, 'nuff said.

people are going wild all over ontario, dollar days are back.  i'm talking about the franticness to buy everything before it sells out.  more specifically, buying things you absolutely do not need. my mom told me she had to physically stop herself from buying shampoo for a dollar. 

me: "oh the suave!?"

mom: "no it was called outrageous or something"

.... we both thought that buying shampoo for a dollar would be a good idea, for no reason other than it was only one dollar.  luckily[?] we have both made this mistake before and were able to control ourselves. she taught me to love deals.  and i think she is proud of my thrifty abilities.

you can read my review of no frills here

yelp

i've been going nuts on yelp.  if you scroll to the very bottom of my blog i even added bling.  basically i'm just reviewing places i care about, around toronto.  if you don't know about yelp, you're in for a treat.  i have been reviewing like a maniac,  mindvinyl.yelp.ca.  it's fun, especially because i can do it from the comforts of my bed.

hollywood

despite my low disposable income i decided to pamper myself this weekend.  it started with a hair cut at ini hair design.  and then i spontaneously decided to treat myself at lucy nails... well that turned into a manicure and then i threw a pedicure into the mix.  i have had this done 2 other times in my life and while i did enjoy it, it's never been something i really craved.  but you know what, it was worth the money.  i left feeling like a brand new person.  i can see how people become "addicted" to these services.

maybe i just shouldn't drink

at least not at an open bar party.  when something is free i like to get my money's worth...

maybe i should wear a sign that says: don't believe anything i say, i've had 2 drinks. or i don't know why i'm talking so much or i always dance like this

we had our holiday party for work last night at kultura on king st. e. i thought i liked it until i visited their website and they had the most obnoxious music playing.  it should be against the law.  especially when hangovers are involved.

jamie lidell - compass

have i mentioned that my vinyl copy is signed!?

this is not my copy, it's just a picture from the internet.  mine says: victoria ! xx jamie.  i purchased it at his show back in september at lee's palace and i'm cranking it this morning.  first of all, it was only $20, it came with a free digital download, and when i asked the guitarist to sign it, he took it inside the tour bus and came back with lidell's signature.  not what i asked for... but i'll take it!  if you haven't heard it yet - what are you waiting for?  this is a totally unique sound, but something i think anyone could get down with.  as a result of his talents and energy he had amazing stage presence and the band was pretty killer.  i can't think of anything funny, it's just good.

marilyn monroe knew some things.

like how to look good... change her name... and say stuff.

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

 "I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."

my thoughtful friend gave me a copy of mm's biography as a gift.  i have yet to read it but i'm hoping to learn more about this mysterious woman who was wise beyond her years and died before her time. 

i like these quotes.  i've read them before and i keep going back to them. they seem to come from an honest place and i think that's why they speak to me.  upon closer inspection i have decided they can apply to both men and women.  however... i'm not sure if people change so you can learn to let go.  if you let go of every person who changed would you have any people left in your life?  maintaining a connection with someone who has gone through or is going through changes can be very challenging.... but not necessarily time to let go. i think i know what she means, but i wanted to play devil's advocate.  maybe it's about letting go of the part of the person that changed, and not the person entirely.   alternatively i'm wondering if people ever really change...

books of interest, fiction

the three most recent books i have read and what they made me think about...

let's say it was november when i read elizabeth strout's olive kitteridge. it is made up of several short stories which all connect in one way or another to the main character; olive kitteridge. my sister-in-law lent it to me. i had been having a hard time getting into reading after a long hiatus, and i found this book to be an excellent transition. not only was it heartfelt, it was difficult to put down... it got me thinking about growing older. it gave me perspective on different familial roles. and family dynamics. perspective... sometimes i wonder what i'll think when i look back in ten years. often i wonder what other people are thinking. anyway i highly recommend it.




i picked up high fidelity by nick hornby at seekers on bloor. i have seen the movie several times. i even own a copy on vhs... and all these years i had no idea it was based on a book. a really great book! the movie is almost verbatim which was surprising. the book follows in greater detail rob's "five most memorable breakups".... the antics of his friends who work at his record store... his affinity for music and the influence it can have over mood ... which i enjoyed thoroughly and it felt as though i was conversing with a good friend while reading it. it made me analyze myself and relationships. and other people and their relationships. i think it offered insight and sympathy. it was also an easy read, but that doesn't mean it didn't have depth.

moving on to douglas coupland. a little while ago i bought hey nostradamus! and accidentally left it on the train while headed to montreal. i'm still dying to know how it ends... when i realized i wasn't getting it back anytime soon i went back to bmv but they didn't have another copy so i purchased girlfriend in a coma... which is about (duh) a guy whose girlfriend falls into a coma. it follows her friends and family and their different coping methods. as many of coupland's books are, it is set in north vancouver. a little bit of nostalgia for me. this book got me thinking about the future. not my future, but the future of our planet. it got me thinking about society and where we might be headed. and i was feeling skeptical and disappointed... but i brought it up with my dad, and after clarifying that "i need to start reading happier books" he shared with me his view; the world isn't going to shit. i'm still skeptical but i do appreciate his optimism. and he had some good points. i had to ask what "happier books" meant and basically we agreed the next book i read should be winnie the pooh. . . but it won't be. i have a couple on the go and i can't wait to tell you about them.

city talk and other tales

i'm all over the map here...

something i noticed today, a lot of people are dressed like "where's waldo".... and i thought to myself, who wakes up in the morning and thinks... i'm going to dress like waldo today? it weirds me out.

another thing i think about sometimes... is that when you're in the city, natural beauty is hard to come by. it's there, but you have to keep an eye out. after living on vancouver island for the better part of five years and being surrounded by mountains, ocean, and old growth forest... the views in the city can be kind of harsh. when i first moved back to toronto in september 2009 i was so excited by everything it had to offer, there was so much potential. after i started working downtown, and commuting underground in the rush hours... that potential had the potential to ruin me. it's taken time and patience, but i am truly happy to be in toronto. while i may not be awe struck by the mountains every morning, i have found beauty in the city. it can be as simple looking out my window and seeing rooftops covered with a fresh coat of snow, a vibrant sunset, the way a shadow is cast on the sidewalk, a pigeon nearly flying into my face... oh wait, that wasn't beautiful at all.... but anyway, you get the idea. and when i see these things i want to take pictures of them and share them with you.

and it doesn't stop at natural beauty... because i see beauty in humans every day. yes, i see ugliness in people too, but i have chosen to focus on the good... for my own sanity. and let's clarify that i'm not talking about aesthetically beautiful people and ugly people... i'm talking about people who are kind to one another, especially strangers. for example: yesterday i was entering queens park subway station and the woman ahead of me tried to hold the door but the wind blew it shut. she waved her arms apologetically. when i muscled the door open (with my muscly arms) she was waiting for me and she said "i'm so sorry i tried to hold it" and i replied that i understood and told her not to worry ... she then complimented my shoes and went so far as to note that while i was finishing my cigarette outside the station she was admiring them from afar. now that i'm typing this i realize she may sound kind of creepy, but trust me, i've seen creepy and this woman was entirely innocent. i have my best encounters on the subway during off-peak times. i have a bad habit of looking people in the eye and i realize that this is an invitation to talk to me. i know to keep my head down if i'm not in the mood to entertain strangers... for example... there was a man with a dolly cart(not a doll) at dundas west station yesterday, and i offered to hold the door for him. he declined my offer but thanked me... and then continued on about how he didn't want to go home because he lives in a boarding home... and he's a hoarder and he has roaches and mice... and he's trying to quit hoarding but the people at the boarding home want to kick him out... and somehow this led to him telling me that he wants to live with a woman and that mice are eating his condoms... and at this point i had to leave the bus station even though my bus hadn't arrived. i'll take some bad for some good though, what can you do?

humanity fascinates and terrifies me.

i looked into volunteering at the food bank but unfortunately all their shifts are during my work hours. i hope to find something i can commit to. i read recently about this amazing organization, Kiva: http://www.kiva.org/ in which you lend any denomination of money (i think it starts at $25) to a small business entrepreneur of your choosing. the pay back rate is something like 98%... go to the website and read more about it because i won't do it any justice. i read about it on a blog that i try and follow: http://www.raptitude.com/.

my friend amy sent me this video... it's great. you've probably seen it, but if you have you'd want to watch it again. it's pretty awesome. i had to research the name of the organization that posted it, as it was called reality changers and i had to know what that meant. upon visiting their website i was intrigued and inspired. so i thought i'd pass it on. lately it's been little things, that inspire me. and i think since realizing that inspiration is there but you have to look for it, create it almost... i dunno, i look for it i guess.

so that's all i have to say about that

this blog looks like carole king's tapestry

but i'm okay with that.

it is kind of funny. i only just realized that. and i started this blog one hundred years ago, (wow even before tapestry came out?!)... but seriously. i've been staring at this thing for over a year and... here we are. i don't know where i'm going with it, so please bear with me.

unrelated, but sort of related, my dad used to tell me that tv would rot my brain and i think he was right... my brain feels like a composte heap but i can't stop watching tv. especially now that you can watch it online. oh that reminds me, i only just got home internet... which is the main reason for the delay in said blog... but the point about tv is that it sucks up valuable time and space in my brain. so i'm trying to get back into writing! and reading! other hobbies include knitting, drawing and cooking. while that may seem overzealous, there is more on that list i'm not sharing with you... sigh. i wish i had more time in the day. more energy. and i know i'm not alone.

look at this pretty strawberry shaped like a heart:




this picture was taken after a bike ride to hanlan's point in the summer.

sharon jones and the dap kings

i was sick over new years and mike bought me this album. cause he's nice.

i'd been raving about this band ever since a friend of a friend introduced me to them. this is the first song i heard... and i was hooked.

so anyway, i've been listening to this album a lot. enough that i'd invest in another album. the story i heard was that the dap kings (who also back up amy winehouse) found sharon jones and said "hey, we like your sound, let's make an album" and so they did. and now they have a few. and i'm sure they're all as soulful and rich as this one. on another note, i was calling them the dap killers for the first week or so. i think the dap killers sounds pretty bad ass, just saying.