daydreamer

i was riding the streetcar the other day and gazing out the window... my thought process went something like this: 

hey! there's a thrift store i've never noticed before

i wonder why i haven't noticed it

should i go there? 

i wonder if they have anything good

(side thought) i should find a garage sale to go to this weekend

maybe someone just dropped off a box of records 

...really good ones.

how come no one ever drops off a box of great records?

do they sell the good ones and then give the barbara streisand ones to value village?

do the people who work at the store pick out all the good ones? (i probably would)

then i had a memory, a fond memory of riding my bike up to my favourite thrift store. there were two or three boxes of records out front which indicated they had just arrived. sorting through the boxes i realized i had hit the jackpot.  name after name of artists i loved, 3 for $1.50 or $0.99 each. i grabbed as many as i could.  i was almost selfish about it, contemplating taking records i already had in case these ones were in better condition. but in the end i was reasonable. i left some good ones behind only taking the ones i really wanted.  it was such a great feeling, and it's one that i daydream about often. especially when i see a garage sale or a thrift store.

i have a friend (steph) who dreams and daydreams about finding change. walking along the street with her is often interrupted by a joyful shout - a penny! i found a penny! or ahh! a nickel! her enthusiasm for change is contagious.  jessa and i often try and spot change just so we can point it out to her and see that twinkle of excitement in her eye. steph's husband (jordan) surprised her one day.  she came out of the shower found this outside of the bathroom door:

she was so happy that she took a picture and showed it to us that day.  it got me thinking about the things i dream (and daydream) about... and led me to this post. i guess i realized that the records i dream of are out there but i have to look for them. just like steph and her change. you're not going to notice if you're not looking.  unless you get lucky, and that happens sometimes too.

slowing down

when i’m thoroughly enjoying the book i’m reading, i’ve noticed that by the last 40 pages or so i pick up the book less and less in an effort to make it last.  i drift away from the story wondering what i'll do when the book is finished – thinking nothing will ever compare.  and all of a sudden i realize i’ve somehow missed the last 2 pages.  as the story nears its end i don’t mind reading the pages over and over again.  i’ve always wondered... how is it possible to read while you’re thinking?  there is probably a simple answer but i’ve never gone so far as to figure it out. i think i like the mystery of it....  look at me, I can think and read at the same time!

rocket

this photo isn't very good but i had to take one to prove i was there

yesterday i was a first time passenger on the new ttc rocket.  only minutes earlier i had been saying that it probably doesn't actually exist... which only seemed reasonable considering i hadn't actually seen it or knew anyone who had.  well little did i know... i was about to eat my words.  after climbing the steps to transfer southbound at st. george i noticed something different; there were no screeching tracks and no loud rumblings. i watched in awe as the brand new train came barreling down the tracks. it was so quiet, so sleek, so ... new.

"ooh look at me, i'm all shiny and new"

for those of you who haven't been hearing about it day in and day out, the ttc is integrating these fancy shmancy new trains on the yonge/university line.  here is a concise blogto article if you want to know more. i'm fairly skeptical of the design... despite being noticeably smoother and quieter there were even more armpits in my face.

via blogto - look, it's all connected - neat.

it'a shame that they aren't adding any of the new trains to the bloor/danforth line which still runs trains with no air conditioning and vinyl seats... could the ttc be favoring people who live north and south of the downtown core?  they claim to have more passengers on that line, but i can tell you (for certain) that at rush hour, going east is always more crowded than going south (and northbound is never as crowded as westbound).  in conclusion, i think someone needs to double check their statistics!

drawers

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do you have a drawer in which you keep things you rarely use?  maybe you have more than one?  when you're looking for something in there are you surprised at what you find?

i was looking for a pair of shorts today.  i went to my "obscure clothing i never wear drawer", rummaged through and couldn't find them...  i moved on to a similarly labeled drawer (my drawers aren't actually labeled, if you're wondering) and they were no where to be found.  i was in some kind of hurry to find these shorts, even though i didn't have anywhere to go.  i went back to the first drawer, dug a little deeper and there they were.  i stuffed everything back in the drawer and shut it.  i sat on the floor, relieved that i had been reunited with my shorts.  but while i was sitting there i thought, why did i make such a mess of those drawers? 

firstly i was annoyed at myself for making a mess.  i sat there thinking maybe i should tidy them up now, and the devil on my shoulder said you never use that stuff anyway, why do you have to tidy it? 

secondly i thought about how i'd forgotten about so many of the items in the drawers.  i immediately began to decide what i could get rid of and what i wanted to start wearing again.  then i started thinking about how i wear approximately 30% of the clothing i own.  a lot of it i've had for years and years and am keeping it "just in case" . . . which makes me think that i should donate it because there might be some people who would actually use them.

thirdly, i had this vague thought.. something about comparing drawers and brains.  i guess we compartmentalize our mind in a similar way.  i've got more thoughts on that but they're still being processed.  it's got me thinking though.

stop. start.

So motivational. (clipped to polyvore.com)
i like how this can be read vertically or horizontally.  i guess that's the idea. 

i know i go on about the little things, but what would life be without them?  for example: i was walking down dundas, and a man was walking toward me.  he appeared to veer to my right so i veered to his right (my left).  at the same moment he veered to my left and i looked up at him with a growl rumbling inside of me but he was laughing because of our mix up.  i laughed too.  i should have laughed to begin with but i guess i was feeling a bit jaded. 

it's funny, riding the subway during rush hour can be draining (oh i know i go on about this too, but it's a day to day thing for me - so i think about it a lot).  it's interesting to think about.  all these people with the same goal, fighting each other to get there first.  i think if everyone just took a step back and realized we're all trying to get somewhere it would improve the general theme of rage and (mild) violence i see on a daily basis.  i'm guilty of it sometimes too.  you get pushed around enough and you start to lose your patience.  just like i almost lost my patience with the guy on the sidewalk.  there are two things that help me check myself before i wreck myself. 1: when i see people confront one another, i am reminded of how petty the situations i face really are. 2: when i'm victim of someone in a hurry, i am reminded that passing people agressively can be dangerous and frustrating to them.  for example: a girl was trying to pass me after i finished buying my metropass. just as i was about to leave she tried to pass me but i was already going through the spinny thing so there was no room for her.  as i walked toward the stairs she stepped on the back of my shoe before passing me and i turned around and said take it easy.  so, i take my own advice sometimes.

aloe

my mom gave me this aloe plant when i first moved into my junction home.  he was a lot smaller then.  and has grown and grown with very little effort or care on my part . . .

i remember the first time i made the connection between the aloe listed on the ingredients of a moisturizer and the plant itself.  it was at angela's grandparents house in 2005 after we had gotten a bit too much sun.  ang went over to the plant and cut off one of the leaves, sliced it open and started to soothe her skin with the aloe goo.  this was new to me, is it safe? i asked... ang laughed, of course it's safe.  oh! okay! 

and i haven't had to buy the neon green gel since.

the end.

oh

it has been tough to blog lately.

i think a lot during the day.  i observe people and situations, and sometimes things in nature.  often i think about how i will write about it when i get home.  i phrase it and rephrase it in my head.

i listen to the radio in the morning.  i like to hear the news, and see if i missed anything while i was sleeping. i wait for the bus, listen to music, sometimes a podcast.  i often wish there was a newspaper box near the bus stop.  then i would skim the 24 or the metro on my way to work, to see if i missed anything on the radio. without a paper my options are to read a book, zone out or play a game on an electronic handheld device.  sometimes i'm pressed up against someone on the ttc and that's about all i can do.  when i get off the subway a lady hands me a paper and says "thank you have a good day" over and over and over again.  i can hear her as i walk up the steps and as i walk away.

work is work.  i work with nice people.  we listen to music while we work.  it's the only area in the office that has a music playing device, specifically a bose dock.  sometimes we talk about news, celebrity news, books and music.  today i was telling stephanie how i've been having a tough time with blogging.  she asked me a question that helped me realize part of what has been holding me back. it was something to the effect of "because you know people are reading it?"  don't get me wrong, i'm happy when people read it, but it does create a bit of pressure on something that was meant to relieve it.  well, that and i've just been a bit lazy.

then i leave work.  sometimes i leave with a co-worker, share some laughs and stories about the day.  sometimes i leave with my headphones on.  i complete (well not always complete) the crossword in the 24.  i go over a list of things i need to do, and things i don't want to forget, sometimes i write that stuff down.  and sometimes all i can do is focus on not falling over on the subway.

it seems that my thoughts revolve around people, the weather, information and entertainment.  lately the weather hasn't been great and i haven't been doing much reading or reading the paper.  maybe i'm uninspired.

days run into days and turn into weeks and months, inspiring moments happen.  when i'm touched by something i think about how i would write about it and i tuck it away.  eventually the memories pile up up and i don't know where to start.  i am grateful to have a lot of refreshing experiences, and occasionally some sour ones.  there is always something new to learn and life is good and life is interesting and i have a lot to say about it.

here is a picture of the beautiful vintage guitar mike surprised me with yesterday:

thanks mike 

here is a picture i took, enthusiastically hoping the massive pile of garbage meant that my obnoxious and somewhat frightening downstairs neighbours were moving out:

i was wrong, they're still here

here is what it looks like when you knock over a jar of buttons... why i collect buttons and don't keep a lid on the jar is one of the great mysteries of the universe.

this was fun to clean up

i see a lot of birds from my apartment window.  lately there have been two cardinals, one is primarily grey and the other is primarily red splashing around in "the junction lake" . . .i have yet to capture them on camera, but this is where they hang out:

and lastly, i stayed at a cottage this weekend.  highlights include: great people, a grand piano, trying elk, bison and wild boar meats, driving a silverado and winning a pool tournament.

oscar wilde

be yourself, everyone else is already taken



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-oscar wilde

may misery

yep, that's right... may has been a miserable month.  if you're living in the greater toronto area, you know what i'm talking about....  the rain. rain. rain.  it won't stop!  i feel like i'm living in a rainforest without the forest. 

whatever happened to april showers bring may flowers?  it rained in april, and it's rained even more in may.  despite all my complaining, i don't mind the rain that much.  plus i spend most of my days inside - i take transit to work, and i sit at a desk all day.  in some ways the rain makes it easier to have to be inside.  but i'd prefer to be cozied up at home listening to the rain outside my window.

and then i think about the old adage, or maybe it's not an old adage but something i've heard somewhere: don't worry about what you can't control and then something else like you can only control the way you react.  but i don't know how to put them together in a sentence.  you get the point. 

and bob marley sums up the whole rain situation with this little quote:

Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.

bad moods

i have no idea who this author is, but i loved her quote:

You can only be in a bad mood for so long before you have to face up to the fact that it isn't a bad mood at all; it's just your sucky personality.

— Megan McCafferty

when you've had a bad day, the most challenging thing is to pull yourself out of it.  people who love and care about you might also try, but sometimes it just sticks.  and what is interesting about this is how a complete stranger's kindness can turn it around. 

as i was riding the subway home today, the platform was entirely full at my usual transfer spot (st. george).  as the train pulled in i hoped to get on, but figured my chances were slim.  i managed to find a comfortable spot near the door and as the door chimes went off, roughly 4 more people crammed their way on to an already full train.  anyone who has ridden the ttc knows this is a common occurrence... nothing out of the ordinary.  but what did happen [that was out of the ordinary] was one of the people who stuffed their way on asked me if i was okay.  this small gesture gave me a bit of hope, and my mood began to change.

once i got home i tidied up, cleaned the bathroom, cleaned the kitchen and before i knew it mike had arrived with a bag of sushi.  he knew i had a case of the mondays and wanted to cheer me up.  the sushi was from a new place in the junction called LAN sushi.  mike had suggested that if i tidied up a bit i would feel better, and he was right.  so here is the formula that i have developed:

kind stranger + clean apartment + nice guy = good mood

cute things help, also.

sunday

it's raining and it's supposed to rain all week.  i'm p.o.'d at blogger for not restoring my post from wednesday when they were down for almost a whole day and they removed all posts to "try and fix the problem."  i would like my post back, please.  the draft is no longer with the rest of my posts and what i wrote has basically left my memory.

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hiatus

image via

okay, some of you may be used to me posting every day... and may have noticed i've been on a bit of a hiatus.  it's not that i haven't wanted to write, it's just that i haven't had much to say.  in the almost 5 months i've been doing this i haven't had this problem.  the more that time passed between posts the less i was inclined to write.  well i'm back now, so deal with it.

be prepared

this photo is from a trip i took to raft cove, bc in 2007.  on the way in on one of the logging roads i spotted the sign, it was hard to miss.  i loved the idea of be prepared for the unexpected.  it embodies the excitement of going to new places and trying new things.  the trip itself involved a short 1.7 km hike in a wet forest.  we got lost along the way and ended up about a kilometer away from the beach we were aiming for, about 1 hour before sundown.  it was a great experience.  raft cove is situated on the north east coast of vancouver island:

frames

The most important thing in art is The Frame. For painting: literally; for other arts: figuratively-- because, without this humble appliance, you can't know where The Art stops and The Real World begins. You have to put a 'box' around it because otherwise, what is that shit on the wall?

frank zappa 

over the weekend i picked up some frames.  i had a few items i've been wanting to frame for a long time but hadn't gotten around to it...  there is a custom framing store near my house that looks awesome but also expensive... so that's where ikea came in handy.

some of these items may look familiar for various reasons.  they each hold a different sentiment, personal to me.

the two in the squares were given to me as cards.  the one of the left was given to me from my co-workers at atlas cafe when the doctors took out my appendix out.  they pooled together some money to help me out (as i had to take some time off work) and signed this lovely card.  it was a time that i felt a genuine sense of community, and honoured to have such amazing people in my life.

the second card was from my dear friend amy on the day my brother and i left for the trip back east.  she handed me the card and said: read this... sometime... later.  i knew it was going to be emotional and i think i had been home for about a week before i had the guts to open it.  it contains some of the most beautiful words of friendship i have ever read.

i don't know much about art.  but i know what i like.  i like art that evokes feelings and isn't just nice to look at.

since i quoted zappa i figured i should include a song of his that i like:

it's funny, i should have known it wasn't his song... i feel silly for not questioning it...  it was originally written by earl lewis and morgan robinson and was recorded by the channels in 1956.  

election 2011

this morning as mike and i were walking to the bus stop, a bus pulled up...
should we run?  nah...
yeah! let's run...

it seems more often than not the bus is arriving at the stop just as i exit my apartment.  it's sort of similar to a yellow light.  slow down and stop or speed up and make it....  it depends on the day but usually i opt for the sprint because i know it's usually another ten minutes or so before the next bus arrives.  it was an older bus, packed full of people.  we arrived at high park station and were pleasantly greeted with some campaign flyers for the incumbent mp in my riding..  i gladly accepted a flyer and out of the corner of my eye i noticed gerard kennedy was there handing out flyers himself, answering questions and shaking hands. 

awareness.  a theme that has been consistent in my life over the past few weeks.  i liked seeing him out there, making people aware... and thought it was a smart place to be for that riding.  it created a sense of respect for him.  and i'm happy when i see the candidates out campaigning and not just their loyal volunteers.  it showed me that he personable, hardworking and strategic at the very least.

i feel fortunate, happy and inspired to have run into him on my morning commute.  i wonder what the other candidates are up to....  i heard the three (out of four) of them on metro morning yesterday.  i guess it would only be of interest to those in the parkdale-highpark riding... but if you're curious here is a link:
http://www.cbc.ca/metromorning/episodes/2011/04/11/parkdale-high-park/

considering the turn out of the 2008 federal election was 58.8%, the biggest battle seems to be getting people out to the polls.  it frustrates me.  people have the lamest excuses for something that is ever so important.  if you're not informed, ask someone.  use the internet.  read a newspaper.  listen to the radio.  you don't need to be a rocket scientist to choose a candidate.  if you claim not to "like" any of them, go and throw your ballot, but at least do something.  you know why it's important, i don't have to tell you.  i don't have to tell you about the people who have fought for their right to vote, and guilt you into realizing how not voting is abusing yours. 

with all that being said (or ranted), i know that there are a lot of people who are planning on voting in this election.  here is a helpful link that will answer pretty much any of your questions...

http://www.elections.ca/content.aspx?section=vot&lang=e

what cookies think of me

somehow it became a tradition [at work] for my boss to get me a fortune cookie every time she gets one.  i almost always bring my lunch to work and she buys hers.  when she eats at the "thai bowl" she always grabs a couple of extra cookies.  i have collected many of the fortunes and put this together as a keepsake.  the last three are my favourites and i have them up at my desk.  not many of them are actual fortunes but it's still fun.

thoughts, april 5

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. 

-Albert Camus

i get a lot of my day to day inspiration from quotes.  sometimes i am lucky enough to stumble upon them and other times i search them out.  this particular quote spoke to me, as there is [quite possibly] nothing better in life than a true friend.  they aren't easy to come by, and it's a kind of friendship that doesn't happen overnight.

i am interested in reading any of camus' work but haven't gotten around to it yet.  i have also quoted him in an older post.  i have been more into reading fiction as of late.  i remember that i loved to read as a kid.  i think it was because i wanted to be like my mom who devours (what seems like) a book a day.  and also for that sense of accomplishment you feel after reading the last word and closing the book.  as a child i read exclusively fiction novels... and i remember when i was introduced to non-fiction in my teens i felt that it would be more beneficial to exclusively read non-fiction.  it turns out, that wasn`t necessarily the case.  while i am still interested in non-fiction, it neglects to keep me engaged the same way a good story does.  and there is a lot to be learned from fiction, if at the very least it`s new vocabulary.  i have noticed my aptitude at crosswords has greatly improved the more i read.  why not try to you lose yourself in a book...  and if you find yourself feeling that you don`t have the time... i highly suggest reading this raptitude article... Where Does the Time Go

in the news

you may or may not have heard about the slut walk that went on in toronto this weekend.  the walk was in response to constable michael sanguinetti's comment in January that women should "not dress like sluts" in order to avoid sexual assault.  the message of the walk was that a way a woman dresses does not determine whether or not she will be sexually assaulted.

initially, when i heard about this comment, i was outraged.  then after hearing about it 10 thousand times, i was like enough already.  it was a poor choice of words, and if he meant it he's an idiot.  end of story.  if the guy hadn't used the word slut it would have been the last we ever heard about his comment.  in a way, bringing this sensitive issue to the forefront isn't such a bad thing.  i work in a male dominated environment:  about 35 - 8 and the number of females just grew substantially.  anyway, one of the principles brought it up with me in the lunch room.  he said, and i agreed, that the whole thing was being blown out of proportion.  and then he went on to say that sanguinetti had a point.  i can somewhat understand that dressing provocatively can send the wrong message, but under no circumstance should a woman be blamed for a man not being able to control himself.  that is sickening.  we stated our pov's and agreed to disagree.  a few months go by, and the paper on the lunchroom table has a picture of a woman in a dress - the article talks about the upcoming slut walk.  the debate in the lunchroom today is: what makes an outfit "slutty?"   everyone had a different idea of what it might be.  you can read more about the slut walk that took place in toronto this sunday here.  or by doing a google search if it interests you.  i'm not a huge fan of the name but i'm happy that women are standing up for themselves.  i don't think it's an issue that should be taken lightly.

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in other news: i read an article on blogTO recently... Should the TTC ban eating on its vehicles?  which is a question i ask myself on a daily basis.  the subways, streetcars and buses are all littered with wrappers and food debris.  not only is it gross to be around, but i always think about who has to clean this up? i wonder how our lives have become so busy that we have to eat while in transit?  just the other day i was encountered by a woman driving towards me with her head down.  texting i thought, as she approached it turned out that she was staring at the salad in her lap that she was in the midst of eating. 

the blogTO article was in response to a video of an altercation between 2 women on a new york subway.  i have posted the video but you may have to log in to youtube to view it.  it was actually disturbing to watch. 

i'm not convinced that banning something is the solution to any problem.  in history, people always find a way around the whatever is banned.  and when i think about it, i have no idea how the ttc might enforce it.  especially considering the number of stations that have fast food right inside the station.  but in terms of a solution, i can't really think of anything....  the real problems are difficult to address.

link

not interesting

came across these abandoned houses on dundas street.  i wonder what the story is behind them?  they are fenced off but it looks like people may be squatting there.

i made spinach last night.  sauteed with garlic and a little bit of olive oil.  i think it's one of my favourite foods.  considering how much i hated spinach growing up... maybe i'm making up for all the spinach i refused to eat?  i'm going to be just like popeye.

and this morning i took the leftover spinach and made an omelette (with tomato and mozzarella).  with my favourite rye toast and my favourite coffee in my favourite mug.  and tulips, which aren't my favourite but are still very pretty.

positivity

this morning i was inspired by the lady at bathurst subway station who hands out the free daily newspaper.  as i approached her in the freezing rain, just as every time i've seen her before, she had a big smile on her face.


good morning! i exclaimed, i hoped to meet her smile with equal enthusiasm
good morning - hope you're having a good day! she says
no umbrella? 
no but i'll be going home soon. in 2 hours.


2 hours did not seem soon to me.  i was worried she'd be soaked.  we continued small talk for a little while.  a car pulled up and she ran over and brought the man 2 of the free daily papers before he drove off.  that's so nice of you. i said.  she didn't seem to mind.  the smile never left her face.  i told her i wished i could be more like her, i can't really explain in words how much sincere positivity this woman projects.  i told her i don't know how you do it. to which she replied i'm no eeyore.

it took me a minute to figure out what she was talking about, but when i did i smiled.  you certainly aren't.  i thanked her and as i descended the steps to the platform i noticed the smile hadn't left my face.  how infectious a bit of positivity can be!  the feeling carried with me throughout the day.  and when the everyday turbulence hit i remembered to keep a smile on my face.

it's not like it is particularly difficult to be positive.  but it doesn't appear to come naturally.  it's something to work on.  but what a difference it makes.